EDITION 26/05: Cigars against know-it-alls - Smoke instead of „Well, actually...“

There are people who enter a room like a software update: nobody wanted them, but suddenly everything is different - and worse.

You say: „Nice evening.“

He: „So ‘beautiful’ is actually subjective.“

Yes, and actually your contribution is also subjectively unnecessary.

You say: „Petra showed her children the ropes today; perfectly to the point without anger.“

He: „So that was actually a very wrong approach that encouraged the children even more to do the opposite of what they actually wanted. You don't have to get to the point, you have to make clear announcements; and while we're at it...“ (...and all you hear is kwack-kwack-kwack...)

Know-it-alls have a talent: they don't listen, what you say. You only hear, where they can intervene. Conversations are not encounters for them - they are a commentary area.

And now comes the problem: you can't „win“ against know-it-alls.

If you discuss, he turns it into a lecture.

If you disagree, it becomes his mission to know you better.

That's why you don't need arguments. You need Speed control.

And that's exactly what the cigar is.

The cigar, man!

A cigar is slow. It forces you to take breaks. And pauses are the know-it-all's kryptonite - because he thrives on reaction. He wants you to jump: „Oh! That's right! Tell me more!“ He needs that little reward that tells him: I'm the smart one here.

You light the fire. Draw. Create time.

And suddenly something very practical happens: you don't give him any space. No resistance, but also no invitation. Just this calm attitude: I'm here to enjoy, not to be corrected.

Then his standard set is guaranteed:

„I'm only trying to help you.“

Translation: „I want to win, but I want to come across as sympathetic, you dumb arse.“

And here comes your boss move:

You say nothing and take a leisurely drag on your cigar.

This is not a capitulation. It is a Exit.

That takes away everything he needs:

• No contradiction → no debate.
• No enthusiasm → no stage.
• No emotion → no fuel.

He can't do anything with it. He can't „correct“ it.

And the best thing is: while he's still explaining why he's right, you've already moved on. Not in the argument. In peace.

Because a cigar reminds you: you don't have to „set the record straight“ in every conversation. You just have to decide whether you want to play along at all.

So, if someone starts again with „Well, actually...“

You draw.

You nod minimally.

And say nothing.

Do you want to say something know-it-all? Fire away! 😅

Picture credits

• Cover: ChatGPT: „Draw an abstract picture that represents May. Without text.“