EDITION 26/02: Cigars versus small talk - smoke instead of „So, how's it going?“

There are enemies who don't come with a baseball bat.

They come with a smile. And a question.

„So, how's it going?“

Or even worse:

„So, what's new?“

These four words are not a conversation. It's an assault on your inner peace.

You're standing around somewhere - an aperitif, birthday, networking evening, coincidentally near a buffet that looks like a sad salad graveyard - and suddenly there he is: the small-talk person. Usually dressed to the nines, always motivated, never tired. A person who says „exciting“ without anything ever being exciting.

And you know: here we go.

„Busy?“

- „Yes, you?“

„Yes, full.“

- „Ah okay.“

Silence.

Then comes phase two: weather. Holidays. Property prices. Something about „everything is moving so fast these days“. You feel your mind slowly leaving your body and looking for an emergency exit in the room.

And this is where the cigar comes in.

The cigar, man!

Not as an escape. As a lifeboat.

Because a cigar is the most elegant stop sign in the world. Not a plastic sign, not a „do not disturb“ - but a burning, fragrant aura that says: I am present, but not available for trivialities.

You don't have to explain anything. You don't even have to talk. You light up - and suddenly something wonderful happens: people respect you without knowing why. (...er...well, that doesn't always happen).

The cigar turns you into a figure.

You're no longer „that one“. You're „the one with the cigar“. That's a status. It's a role. It's almost a profession.

While others are talking frantically as if they have to justify their existence, you are sitting there, pulling slowly, gazing into the distance - and looking as if you are having very important thoughts about life. In truth, you're just thinking about whether you want another espresso later.

But it looks damn deep.

And the best thing: a cigar brings back breaks.

In modern society, pauses are suspicious. If you don't talk, people immediately think you're planning something. Or you're sad. Or you're „weird“. A pause is seen as a defect in the system.

The cigar turns the break into an event.

You sit there, look, pull, let time pass - and nobody asks: „Are you OK?“

Because it looks intentional.

Small talk people hate intention. They live on fill-in-the-blank sentences. From air. Of words that carry nothing.

You, on the other hand, are wearing smoke.

Of course there are counter-attacks.

Someone always says: „Wow, that smells strong!“

Yes, that's the point. It's not a scented candle with „forest walk and cosiness“. It is tobacco. It is character. It is: I have decided to be here, but not to become part of your discussion group.

Then there is the moral variant: „Isn't that unhealthy?“

The same person is holding a glass of Prosecco and a mini quiche thing, 80% of which is butter.

You nod slowly, like a wise man who has seen a lot. Say nothing. Draw. Let the question evaporate in the air.

And suddenly you realise: The cigar is not just an antidote to small talk. It's a filter.

Someone comes closer and doesn't ask about the weather, but:

„What are you smoking?“

„How does it taste?“

„What difference does it make?“

Suddenly it's about things that actually exist: Flavours, craftsmanship, time, tranquillity.

That is not „networking“. That is human.

There will always be small talk. It lurks in corridors, at events, in queues. It comes across as friendly and yet takes your energy.

But you are prepared.

You have no excuse. You have a cigar.

A cigar, man!

And while others talk to avoid being quiet, you sit there and are quiet - on purpose.

Why don't you talk to me now, in the comments box below. But no small talk, please. 😅

Picture credits

• Cover: ChatGPT: „Draw an abstract picture representing February with snowdrops in the centre. Without text.“